


and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

by Adarian



Category: Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic II: The Sith Lords
Genre: F/M, The most lovey dovey thing I've ever written, like peace on earth good will to all men lovey dovey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-02
Updated: 2016-02-02
Packaged: 2018-05-17 21:02:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,172
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5885056
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Adarian/pseuds/Adarian
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Surik and Bao-Dur meet again after ten years, Surik finds that she is drawn to him. Surik realizes that she is becoming more attuned to the Force and her feelings for him might just have something to do with it. </p><p>aka love is awesome and the Jedi really need to rethink their no relationships policy</p>
            </blockquote>





	and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

**Author's Note:**

> So I know it's February, but one of my writing goals this month was to finish off the half-done projects in my fanfic folder and this was sitting there. So, yes, it's M/F BUT BAO-DUR. I cannot count the feels I have for him in this poor half finished game.

Before the Force was torn from her, before she lost her link to everything she had spent her entire life serving, Surik had one final insight. One last connection. 

The Zabrak technician before her waited for the command. His golden eyes met hers and she could feel his presence as strongly as her own. He waited for her to give the order that would wipe away the life of thousands of both her kind and theirs. It was through him she felt that weight. Thousands with the same anger in their hearts, the same fear in their eyes, the same tremble in their hands.

The last thing she felt before the world went to hell was that technician's despair as she nodded.

***

Surik opened her eyes slowly. The shuttle smoldered behind her and she stirred, seeing someone pull Kreia from the blaze. She rose slowly but stumbled. Once the figure had laid Kreia beside an unconscious Atton, they ran over to her. 

Her rescuer offered her a hand and she accepted, looking up into those same golden eyes. His face did not falter. He knew who she was. 

"You're safe, General," he promised, helping her to her feet. 

"Who are you?" Surik asked.

"I guess I shouldn't be surprised you don't remember me," he said. "That's alright. You had a lot of people under your command. I imagine the only Zabrak engineer blended right in with the rest."

She smiled, realizing he was teasing. It was beyond her strength in that moment to tell him she remembered everything about the time they had last seen each other. 

Atton said something, breaking her train of thought. The engineer introduced himself, offering his assistance. The name came back to her softly. Bao-Dur. She had known the name once, a long time ago. 

If he was as shaken seeing her as she was seeing him, he hid it better. 

***

It grew dark sooner than she expected. They stopped in the fields in order to eat. Atton had been attempting to hide a headache, but Surik feared he was concussed and demanded he rest while she examined him.

Across the fire, Bao-Dur fiddled with their damaged navigator, freshly salvaged from the ship. He looked up once to meet her glance, but did not look again until Atton was resting by the fire.

Surik sat beside Bao-Dur and he handed her the navigator. She adjusted a few of the cables in the back as played with a loose circuit.

"I knew who you were," Surik admitted. "I never forgot you. It's hard forgetting a moment like that."

"And hard to talk about," he said quietly. "It's been a decade, General, we do not need to talk about the war now."

"Don't call me that, please," she said. "I'm not a soldier anymore."

The circuit snapped and she frowned. He took it back from her.

"Your tiny human fingers are no good with delicate machines," he joked. "You should leave it to me."

"I'm hardly tiny," she protested.

"Compared to me, you are," he chuckled. 

"I outrank you," she said indignantly. 

"Neither of us are soldiers anymore," he reminded.

Her hand brushed against his as she took the navigator back from him. His golden eyes met hers and she felt his sorrow. It was almost like it flowed from him, like a cold river. He seemed to realize the connection and pulled away from her.

"You were injured too," he said. "I know the surface well and have managed to keep myself safe so far. Get some rest, General."

Surik sat on the makeshift bed beside Atton. She first tried to meditate, but her body was too tired. She laid down and fell asleep.

***

In the morning Atton was back on his feet and they traveled east towards the base. They approached the shoreline as two figures came towards them. Surik sighed. Of course now when she was good for credits the mercs would show up. She picked up her blaster slowly.

"The bounty on your pretty head will get us off this forsaken rock," the Rodian chuckled. "You should have stayed in orbit, Jedi."

Bao-Dur asked incredulously. "A bounty? You, General?"

"It's a long story," Surik said. "Another time."

"You can step away, Zabrak, and we won't give up your location to Czerka. This doesn't concern you."

Bao-Dur shifted his stance, stepping slightly in front of Surik. "If you want her, you'll have to go through me first."

"That was the plan."

Surik pulled out her sword and defended herself. Atton took care of them nearly on his own, being better in a scrap than her. Once they could catch their breath, Bao-Dur looked at her impatiently. Apparently "another time" meant right then. 

Surik said quickly, "I may be the last Jedi left and someone's trying to have me killed. And apparently anyone who tries to help me. So if that's a problem-"

Bao-Dur shook his head. "More reason to help. Come on. We're not so far away now. We'll hug the water, I think. We'll try to avoid the rest of them." 

Atton scouted ahead, leaving the pair of them to walk side by side. 

"I seem to remember you having two arms the last time I saw you," she said.

He chuckled, "I've upgraded, I guess."

He held his hand, the force field between it and his amputation buzzing slightly. He moved the fingers easily. 

"Did you build it yourself? That's amazing dexterity. I've never seen such fine work. Especially if you're doing manual repairs yourself."

"It's taken me awhile, but I've worked out the kinks. I've had a decade after all. At least it gave me something to focus on those first few weeks after Malachor. I think if I hadn't been given an engineering problem I might have lost my mind."

"So it happened...then."

Surik remembered the command centre shaking. She remembered things collapsing around her, even on her ship. Most of those moments blurred together. She had been too numb to focus on anything other than running.

"Yes," he said finally. "I've never gotten true feeling from it. I can feel pressure, but not heat or softness. If I held your hand right now, it would feel the same as if I was holding a screwdriver."

She touched his hand, feeling the little grips in the material. 

"Ingenious," she said.

"I get that a lot," he teased.

"And so humble."

Atton called back, "If you two are finished talking shop, may I remind you that there's a band of mercenaries ahead who want both of you, and now apparently me, dead? Let's focus here."

Surik backed away from Bao-Dur and pulled out her sword once more. She could have sworn she heard him sigh. 

When he had found them their coordinates and done all he had promised, Bao-Dur asked to come with her. She had hesitated at first, even though all her instincts told her that she needed him. The Force was strong in him and he would do well under her guidance. But her feelings flared too strongly around him. Dangerous as she was just gaining control of her powers again.

Finally, she smiled and welcomed him onboard. 

***

There was little space in the shuttle as they piloted towards the polar region of the planet. Atton flew and Kreia bickered beside him. Bao-Dur stood, letting Surik sit in the remaining seat. The little remote flew around the ship excitedly. 

Surik looked up at it, grinning. "Can you make me one?"

Bao-Dur chuckled, "I like being unique. Besides, you seem perfectly capable of building one yourself. Just make yours different. May I suggest a bow tie?"

Surik laughed, "How would I get it to stay on? You never think of the practical applications, Bao-Dur. All flash, no substance."

The ship shook slightly and Bao-Dur grabbed a bar over head. 

"Everything alright?" He called to the cockpit.

"We've got someone shooting at us. Better strap in if you can," Atton warned.

Alarm bells rang through the ship. Bao-Dur moved to the cockpit, trying to help Atton do anything to keep them afloat. They started descending rapidly, the hull shaking.

"Grab onto something!" Atton warned.

They hit the snow hard. Surik was flung from her seat as the ship broke apart. She threw a barrier out, managing to break her fall. She rose painfully and grabbed the blaster from her belt. Kreia was already standing and Atton was very slowly getting to his feet. Bao-Dur laid still in the snow.

She raced over to him and rolled him over. She called his name but he did not respond. But he was breathing. She knelt down beside him and tried to feel his life energy through the Force. It was there, but weak.

Once the inane assassins who shot them down were dealt with, Surik returned to Bao-Dur's side. He still did not stir.

"We need to find shelter," Kreia said coolly. "Leave him. He will slow us down as we search. We can return for him later."

"He'll freeze to death out here," Surik argued.

"As will we if we do not keep moving, Exile," Kreia argued. "Come."

Surik took off her cloak and draped it over Bao-Dur's chest. Without thinking, she kissed his forehead. Shivering, she stood and followed the others in the snow. 

Surik did not see the women in white until they were upon them. They captured them easily, bringing them deep underground. 

***

The Telosian Academy held too many ghosts for her. Surik had avoided any of the enclaves of her former kind. She would only be reminded of the power that she once had was now stripped from her. Even if it came back now in little trickles, it would never be the same again.

Surik went into the prison to release her companions. Kreia was meditating and Surik didn't disturb her. Atton was sleeping and she softly shook him awake. She turned to Bao-Dur, who slowly rose from the floor. Her chest relaxed.

"I am sorry, General," he apologized. "I wasn't there to protect you."

"You were unconscious, there's nothing to apologize for," she said. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," he reassured.

His hand brushed against hers. His living hand this time. She had avoided touching others in the past ten years, only reminded each time of how she was so disconnected from them. But his skin against hers, his golden eyes warm, she almost could feel his emotions in her own heart. 

She pulled away. "I'm glad. We'll be leaving soon. I just need to make sure we have all the information we need."

"Do you need my help or should I get the Hawk ready?" Bao-Dur asked.

"I'd actually like some company," she admitted. 

Once the other two had taken the droid back to the ship, Bao-Dur and Surik walked down the cavernous halls. Eventually they stopped at a computer terminal. Surik downloaded all the relevant files, suspecting the utility droid had already done so. She imagined Bao-Dur had the same thought, but he was kind enough not to say anything.

"Perhaps it's time for that long story you promised," he said quietly.

Surik turned to face him, brushing the hair from her face.

"Once we leave here, we'll be looking for the lost Jedi Masters in order to protect the Order. There is Sith activity again and their tactics are unusual. If the Jedi fall, there will be no one to stop them," she explained. "It's going to be dangerous. Once we get out of here, we can drop you back off at the Citadel." 

"I wish to stay with you and your crew. You'll have need of an engineer and a technician. Let me serve the Republic again."

"You've already faced enough war, Bao-Dur," she protested. 

"Do you not want me?" He asked, his voice faltering.

"No," she admitted, "it's not...isn't it weird? You should hate the sight of me. I made you do something truly terrible. Malachor V was my fault, every inch of it my fault. You should want to punch me or spit on me, not want to help me. I know you don't want to talk about it, but I need to understand. I ordered a massacre. I'm not a hero."

"If you pulled the trigger, I built the gun," Bao-Dur said. "The Mass Shadow Generator was my invention. You didn't design it, I did. I knew better than you what would happen to the planet. I could have disobeyed you, but I didn't. We are both guilty, General. Let us make amends together."

He stuck out his artificial hand and she shook it.

"Okay," she agreed.

***

Surik loved meditating in the garage of the Ebon Hawk better than any other part of the ship. She loved the warmth of the nearby engines, the odd little beeps of the droids as they worked. She loved the hum of Bao-Dur's arm, the force field singing deep and low. It sounded like the chanting of the elder Jedi on Dantooine as they attempted to merge their voices with the first sounds of the universe.

Bao-Dur had been awkward with her presence the first time, but quickly grew used to it. She imagined he had been around enough Jedi in his life that he was comfortable enough with them carrying out their practices in any location they pleased. 

She finished her prostration after a particularly rewarding session. She stood, feeling at peace. Bao-Dur put down his tools and leaned against the wall.

"Why don't you carry a lightsaber anymore?" He asked.

"Mine was taken from me," Surik explained. "I didn't deserve to carry one anymore."

"You are a different woman now," Bao-Dur said. "Maybe it's time to build one that reflected that. I've seen how technically inclined you are, it wouldn't be difficult with the right parts."

"I've only ever met a few people who've built a second one. They've all had better reasons to replace one than being exiled."

"You should make one," he insisted. "It will help you feel connected. You are a Jedi, General. A lightsaber is a part of your very presence. As we travel, the people will look to you as a sign of hope."

"Or that they're about to get very wealthy from my bounty."

He chuckled, "That too."

"Maybe it is time," she confided. "Though I have no idea where I'd find the parts."

"That I can help you with," he said. "Anything you find I can tune for you. Then you'll assemble it yourself. That's too personal for me to help with, I think."

Surik found herself blushing. "Thank you, Bao-Dur."

"It's no trouble. I like keeping busy."

He hesitated and said, "I know before I said I didn't want to talk about the war, but there's been something I've wanted to say since we left Telos. I know we've been at space for a few days now, but it just never seemed like a good time."

"What's going on?" She asked.

"You said before I had already seen too much war. The Mandalorian wars changed me and not for the better. When I was fighting, I reveled in it. I felt like I was getting vengeance. It tore at my very soul again and again until Malachor ripped me open. But before then...I was an animal. Mindless, only wanting to kill. I am not that man anymore, even if I still feel anger towards the Mandalorians. But I am afraid of becoming him again. After years of drifting, I found purpose again on Telos and now again with you."

Bao-Dur admitted, "You inspire me. From the moment we found each other again, I have felt more at peace than I have since the war. But I fear that if you or one of our companions is in danger then I will become that man again. I wanted to say that aloud so the fear did not consume me."

"I'm afraid too," she confessed. "I'm relearning everything and I'm worried I don't have the strength to control it."

"Poor galaxy having to rely on us then," he joked weakly.

"We'll manage," she promised. "If you were interested, you could always meditate with me. You might find it helps."

"I'll think about it," he said.

"I should probably go check in with Kreia before she and Atton start fighting again. We really need to get a few more people to fill up this ship so we can space them apart a little bit. You have any friends on Nar Shaddaa?"

He laughed, "Go on then, we'll talk later."

***

Even when they were both supposed to be sleeping, the pair of them would stay up in the garage, tinkering on various projects. Surik felt like a kid once more, being allowed to play with machinery instead of forced to work on her studies. It was amazing watching Bao-Dur at work. It was like studying under her Master again. In return, she felt the Force in Bao-Dur, his movements almost more fluid. The first time she threw him a practice sword, he had laughed and tossed it aside. But the second he shifted into a strong stance and fought back.

She was much more skilled at fighting than he was, but he was physically stronger. With his new skills, it wasn't long before she was breaking a sweat sparring with him. 

On the cycle before they arrived in Nar Shaddaa, Bao-Dur initiated the match in the garage. He fought with restraint, but she could feel the intensity in his eyes. This night he might actually beat her.

After she scored a point, she stopped to strip down to her undershirt and drank from her canteen. She handed it to him and he drank quickly before putting it aside. He wasn't wearing much more than she was, but both their modesty was preserved. 

They began again. She was so exhausted that he broke through her defenses easily. She kicked out at him-a childish move-and he spun, grabbing her. He threw her on her back and she thrust her practice sword up, the wooden blade just touching his throat. He stood up, helping her to her feet. 

"You lost focus again," she said. "That move would have cost you your life." 

"You tried to kick me," he teased. "That wasn't very sportsmanlike of you."

He wiped the sweat from his brow and Surik tried not to notice his incredibly muscled arms and chest. If that was what the techs looked like on Iridonia, she didn't even want to think about how their warriors did. But this particular tech had a way of affecting her composure. 

Embarrassed, she cleared her throat.

Surik said, "One more, then we should hit the showers-not together." 

The Zabrak grinned at her before picking up his sword. She took hers and stood steadily. Neither made a move for several moments, watching the other carefully. Surik made the first move and he blocked it. He struck back and she deflected easily, stepping into his space. They parried back and forth until her blade slipped in her sweaty hand. He smacked the sword from her grasp and she stood before him, his blade just touching her chest.

"Only took me seven cycles," he chuckled tiredly. 

He dropped the blade. "Thank you, that was a good workout. I needed that."

He drank from the canteen before passing it to her. She drank slowly, looking away.

"We should get some rest," she said. "Neither of us have been sleeping enough and I'm told Nar Shaada might be an interesting experience." 

"I haven't slept well since Malachor," Bao-Dur said. "The last twenty four hours have been especially bad. Thank you for keeping me company, General."

"It is no trouble," she said, trying not to stammer. 

He winced suddenly. "Sorry, my arm is out of alignment. I'll fix that first and then bed."

"Do you need any help?" She asked.

"Just stop hitting me so hard," he joked. 

"Never," she teased.

***

When Surik woke on the floor of Goto's ship, she suspected that Atton might have been right in assuming Nar Shaada was too much for her to handle. Being imprisoned in a room surrounded by droids with sharp knives and blasters only confirmed it. It was a bit embarrassing to admit, but she was trapped. 

When the alarms went off signaling that her crew was boarding the ship, she felt a rush of relief. They were alive. 

She banged against the door, trying to call out for anyone to hear her. After she had given up for several minutes, she heard someone tampering with the door and suddenly she felt Bao-Dur's presence. Her heart raced. He was here. He had come to rescue her. 

The door slid open and Bao-Dur strode into the room and swept her into his arms, kissing her hard. He pulled back as if shocked by his actions. Surik certainly was. 

"Are you hurt, General?" He asked urgently.

"No, I'm fine," she reassured. 

From the hallway, Atton called out "I guess you were right with those whole Jedi "I feel her presence" nonsense. Look at her, I told you that she would be fine!" 

When he entered the room, Atton suddenly quieted, blushing at the sight of them. Bao-Dur pulled away, embarrassed. Surik gazed at the Zabrak, unsure of what to say.

"Let's, just...um...get back to the ship, shall we?" Atton said.

"Yes," Surik agreed, clearing her throat. "Let's...do that."

***

Back upon the Hawke, Surik found Bao-Dur in the garage, attempting to rewire a door. He stopped what he was doing upon seeing her and immediately apologized, "General, that was completely inappropriate of me. It won't happen again."

Surik kissed him tentatively. He stroked her cheek and caught his breath before kissing her back.

"The Jedi are not supposed to love," Bao-Dur murmured.

"Good thing I'm not a Jedi anymore," she said softly.

Suddenly the little remote fled into the room, the G0T0 unit chasing behind it, cursing. The two of them pulled apart, smoothing their clothes.

"We'll talk later?" Bao-Dur asked.

She nodded, feeling hopeful. She left him to deal with the droids and she went back to her room. She rested again the wall and slid down to her feet, sighing happily. 

***

Later in the cycle, someone knocked at her door. She rose from her meditations and opened it, seeing Bao-Dur waiting anxiously for her.

"Can I come in?" He asked.

She nodded, her heart throbbing in her chest.

"I have feelings for you," he admitted. "I have for some time. But I meant what I said. There is more at stake than just you and I. I cannot distract you from your mission."

"Bao-Dur, there is no one in this galaxy that understands better what I've gone through," she said softly. "We're connected, deeply, and I think you feel it too. This isn't wrong. You're making me stronger. By...caring about you, I've grown more in touch with the Force than I think I've ever been. You make me feel steady. And you're not distracting me from my mission. You make me feel like I'm more than my worst mistakes and it has been a very long time since that's happened."

Bao-Dur smiled nervously. "I do feel it."

"Then we shouldn't fight it," she murmured.

He kissed her so tenderly it made her heart ache. 

"Then I am with you," he whispered, "until the very end."

His emotions flowed through them both and Surik felt almost overwhelmed by his devotion to her. She kissed him and opened her heart to his, deepening the connection. It felt like a storm, like thunder and lightning but it was as natural as breathing.

When they physically pulled apart, she could still feel his thoughts and it was hard to tell where his love for her ended and her love for him began. She realized she was crying and she smiled as he wiped her tears away.

There were many rules the Jedi had that she had disagreed with over the years, but this was the one they were most wrong about. These feelings didn't detract from her control nor cut her off from her abilities. It made her stronger with the Force and she could feel herself radiating joy. 

"I could swear you're almost glowing, General." 

"I wouldn't be surprised," she admitted. "Sometimes this happens when we grow more attune with the Force."

She kissed him again and he murmured, "Should I go?"

"No," she said softly. 

They laid in bed together, talking about their lives until they both fell asleep. When the next cycle began, most of the crew commented that they felt more rested than they had in years and even Atton and Kreia were getting along. 

There was power in love, how it could influence those around it. Surik had once cut herself off from the Force to protect herself from the emotional turmoil of Malachor. But now that wound was healing and in time the galaxy's would follow.


End file.
